two short poems

I lead a man's life, mostly
spend free time smoking pot
spitting sophomore existentialism in church parking lots

I'll use coffee to wash down the melatonin
then read Bukowski when I can't fall asleep
Old man says he laughed watching his bones crack under love's weight
but I can so much as muster a groan,
I wake up alone
since I lost my lust to a love that howls as it comes
tearing through the hole where my heart should be

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A few nights ago, Sean, Jake and I
drove out to Butterfly Beach and stared at the ocean/mist gradient
marveling how one didn't have to end for the other to begin

We stood there a good 20 minutes
until darker clouds rolled in and rain began falling fat and heavy on our heads
Then, the homeless started their midnight sand shuffle
and I tasted death's metallic prick on my tongue watching them.

Got sensible, though,
pushing wind down the 101 at ninety-five,
rationalizing that everyone has to die sometime
and
even the best of memories will waver then fade
like a vagrant in the fog

Depression burns like the barrel of a gun
and shoots like hydrogen across the sun
I listened all day but I didn't hear from you
I called through the night
but you didn't come.

to do

today

• Finish tracing matches onto carbon paper
• Etch matches into copper plate
• Study through biodiversity and ecology (guiding questions: biodiversity, evolution, and ecology)
• Call Patino again for interview. Pull quotes from Board of Trustees meeting.
• Call Rob Morales.

tomorrow

• Bathe copper plate in acid.
• Print 4 images. 
• Study through populations, livestock  and agriculture (guiding questions: populations and agriculture)
• Review all guiding questions for exam.