M A L I G N A N T

When I first felt,

most delicately,

the acute, concerned edge of treason

my revivified lungs and blood and saliva

began to circumvent guilt

and I thought for a moment my outmost emotion could not grow past this point:

Excalibur slicking air after all,

Andromeda stuck in her eternal fall,

gasping for Cassiopeia's burn

grasping for the vernal tilt and turn

when the zodiac was still

in tact

and your eyes, finely tuned, 20/20 vision

before all that

"I made a mistake,"

and, "wont you just listen?"

Now I can't even admit it,

the conscience I'm missing,

So I teeter right at the edge (not off)

though that would make sense

just precariously balanced,

perpetually under the influence.

These days,

it's almost under control

adder, rattling in the pit of my gut

contagion active, but not aware

slick, coiled obsidian viper

asleep, but immortally there

my breath stinks of pomegranates

my teeth not teeth

but oozing, viscid seeds

My eyes as dull

and black as beads

My skin flakes in the warmth of spring
Your sight, amaurotic,

groping in darkness

handicapped fingers pricking on everything I've given you

and always at the whim of my thread

all of that hope, asleep but not dead

standing there, surrounded, reptilian skin sins
you moan like a bitch in heat.
I dream of quarantines and burning bibles
I tab my tongue, and shake some hands
but thirst for the worst
of its many symptoms,
just another victim
of restless universe syndrom. 

H E L P M E

Immediately:

1. Assign stories and compile Budget for week of Nov. 19, Today
2. Mass Media and Society discussion paper, due Nov. 14
3. I've Got Levitation Gallery review,  due Nov. 15, 8 a.m. 
4. Watch 3 - 5 episodes for Comm. project + take notes, due Nov. 15
5. Astronomy homework, extra- credit, due Nov. 19
6. Study for Astronomy quiz, Nov. 19
7. Compose letters of recommendation emails for Patricia, Chella
8. Write spoken word poem, due Nov. 20 (rap with Sean Urbany)
9. Attend Michael Gilbert's lecture Friday, Nov. 16
10. Apply for classes Friday, Nov. 16
11. Mass media discussion paper, due Nov. 19
12. Compile budget, Stories: 1 2 3 4 5, due Nov. 20
13. Write spoken word for The Event, due Nov. 27
14. Finish SFSU application, due Nov. 30
15. Write personal statements ONE and TWO for UC's, due Nov. 30
16. Finish UCSB + UCLA applications, due Nov. 30
17. Do astronomy magnitude homework, due Dec. 3
18. Study for astro quiz, due Nov. 26
19. Communication discussion essay 1, Due Nov. 26
20. Communication discussion essay 2, Due Nov. 29
21. Watch 15 episodes of Modern Family, write synopses, due Nov. 28
22. Write Rational for Mass Media final project, due Nov. 28
23. Interview actor for article, 1:00 p.m. SBCC fountain, Nov. 27
24. Write article, due Nov. 30

Next Week:

1. Work extensively on Communication final project, due Dec. 3
2. Extra Credit for Mass Media, 3 pages "discussion" research, due Dec. 6
3. Compile poems for College of Creative Studies application
4. Write sestina, prose-poem, sonnet, due Dec. 1
5. Finish Communications project, due Dec. 3

Near Future:

1. Actually study for Mass Media and Society final, tentatively Dec. 5
2. Compose Journalism portfolio, due Dec. 5
3. Compose poetry portfolio, due Dec. 5
4. Finish SAIC application, due Jan. 1
5. Finish College of Creative Studies application, due Jan. 14
6. Finish Pratt application, due Feb, 1
7. Puget Sound app, due March 1

MOEITY

I always knew you

Despite that diaphanous conscious choking

Your birthright ability

To feel and be felt

(in your beautiful head and your loins as well)

My king, my panacea

Once fisted his lissome fingers

Walked out the door

and crossed the continent

to settle

The loss of charming innocence

Peony breath and reverence

To our imbroglios love;

its entropy

My knack for adaption

And your inure. 

000

Ethereal rabbit fur coat

Wrapped gently about your shoulders before

Your shoulders folded in on themselves

And your hair was all translucent gold

Shining like the heart of the void that

Touched your pupils and clung,

A plague.

Then,

Gone were the days of your childish lilt

Lost to pathways of a labyrinthine imagination

You ingénue

You forest of a woman

Leaving men half-cocked, trapped

In the penumbra of your mother’s, mother’s nose

You are petrichor in the depths of chapels in Venice

Where you saw the mummified saint,

Smaller than you were

that seeded a skepticism
you nurture still;
a miracle in the pocket of your
iron will.

That is why he notices your lithe limbs

When they

Pause with some inexplicably graceful motion

Whist reading a novel you’re only half paying attention to

And that is why the scintilla is always enough

Busting up into micro-fireworks all across his brain and chest and genitals

Like vestigial hopefulness

At the end of it all
And then, and so on, and so forth

I guess.